


Keeping Score of the Incidental: Index of MCU Writing Mixes

by feldman



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fan Soundtracks, Fanmix, Gen, Music, Other, Red Room (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:34:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feldman/pseuds/feldman
Summary: Soundtracks for major stories including cover images and track listings, link to story, and link to streaming site.  Frog in a Blender, Bombpop, Hulkasaurus, Relatives in Spacetime, and more as this updates.





	1. Frog in a Blender: Self-definition for Self-burned Spies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha creates personas and covers like some people doodle in meetings--so how does she figure out who she really is? She's only begun figuring that out when she has to put it all on the line, goes back to the beginning, and confront the monster who made her.
> 
> First of four mixes for [Frog in a Blender](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4279791/chapters/9693444), by feldman and Thassalia.

[](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/rubberneck/media/frogmixselfdefinition.jpg.html)

### Self-definition for Self-burned Spies

**Season of the Witch - _Lou Rawls_**

Watching him watch her becomes a small game, another exercise to keep her hand in.

_When I look over my shoulder_ _What do you think I see_ _Some other cat looking over_ _His shoulder right at me_ _And it's strange, surely strange_

**A Better Version of Me - _Fiona Apple_**

She runs through her own repetitions, crafting identities, job applications, a door-to-door in-home survey of all the humans she could have been and still could be.

_I don't want a home, I'd ruin that_ _Home is where my habits have a habitat_

**Ice Age - _How to Destroy Angels_**

It rocked her back, because she was never really a ballerina but she had trained hard, had risen up on her toes until they broke and bled.

_Sometimes, I still believe who I pretend to be_ _Sometimes, the little thing's exactly how it seems_

**Red Right Ankle - _The Decemberists_**

He sits on the floor in front of her, still careful not to loom, as if she could have gotten anywhere if she were susceptible to looming.

_Some had crumbled you straight to your knees_ _Did it cruel, did it tenderly_ _Some had crawled their way into your heart_ _To rend your ventricles apart_ _This is the story of the boys who loved you_ _This is the story of your red right ankle._

**Rise Up With Fists - _Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins_**

He has alluded to Triggers and the Things That Help to others before, fending off questions, providing just enough information, but he’s never laid the whole eclectic list out for anyone before…

_Like when you wake up behind the bar_ _Trying to remember where you are_ _Having crushed all the pretty things_ _There but for the grace of God go I_

**I Wish I Knew - _Nina Simone_**

Can it really be called choice when all your options are bad, or when the only thing on the table is a chance of survival?

_I wish I could give_ _All I'm longin' to give_ _I wish I could live_ _Like I'm longin' to live_

**Doll Parts - _Hole_**

Seeing Natasha turn herself off so effortlessly, become so completely someone she’s fabricated–perhaps on the walk over–that it seems there’s no fourth wall to even break…it gives him a sense of just how hard she’s been working to stay present in herself with him.

_I fake it so real, I am beyond fake_ _And someday, you will ache like I ache_

**True, Part III - _Concrete Blonde_**

Natasha sinks down onto her knees, a supplicant on the edge of the expensive handwoven carpet,and looks up into the woman’s eyes. “I know who I am,” she turns Madame’s hand and presses a kiss of fealty, “and where I belong.”

_And I will leave this life_ _And I will know I've done the very best I can_ _And I will leave behind_ _Strain and pain_ _And take the blame for who I am_

**Me, I’m Not - _Nine Inch Nails_**

Natasha is awash in hotel rooms and train stations, her hands full of steering wheels and silk ties and the familiar Hogue grip of her Glock, the meaty scent of blood and the smoky vapor of bourbon…

_I can swallow it down_ _Keep it all inside_ _I define myself_ _By how well I hide_ _I feel it coming apart_ _Well, at least I tried_ _I can win this war_ _By knowing not to fight_

**Fortunate Son - _Catey Shaw_**

“I build more than I break.” Natasha looks up into her eyes, willing her to understand, “I renovate.”

_It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son, no_ _It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no_

[Link to playlist at 8Tracks](http://8tracks.com/handypolymath/self-definition-for-self-burned-spies)


	2. Frog in a Blender: PhD in Heavy Artillery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has struck an uneasy truce with the Other Guy, eking out a life where the disaster he helps avert isn't always him, existing in that narrow margin of safety. But he gets comfortable there, and he begins to flirt with the most dangerous evil in Pandora's Box--hope.
> 
> Second of four mixes for [Frog in a Blender](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4279791/chapters/9693444), by feldman and Thassalia.

[](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/rubberneck/media/frogmixheavyartillery.jpg.html)

###  **PhD in Heavy Artillery**

**Pacing the Cage - _Bruce Cockburn_**

That Banner was still in the tower actually surprised her. No. That he was still in the country surprised her; once the location narrowed down to US, it was a given he’d be in the tower.

_I never knew what you all wanted So I gave you everything All that I could pillage All the spells that I could sing_

**Disorder in the House - _Warren Zevon_**

Fortunately it’s an intense burst that burns out quickly: he rips open most of the bunkers, yanks apart a 47 ton T-90 tank which audibly makes Stark choke up with some undefined emotion, then tears off across farmland into the sunset.

_Disorder in the house Time to duck and cover Helicopters hover over rough terrain_

**I Need Some Sleep - _The Eels_**

Natasha sits on the floor of the quinjet with him as he sleeps for hours, face bruised and drawn.

_Everyone says I'm getting down to low Everyone says you just gotta let it go_

**Stolen Prayer - _Alice Cooper_**

Being told you could sip from that cup, that it was okay, even when you knew that was a lie? It’s a heady, sickening feeling.

 _Well, I'm not unbreakable With armour on my skin Well, it's not unthinkable I could be fooled again_

**The Real You - _Alan Watts (remixed by Colorpulse)_**

She wills herself still as it moves to her hand, delicate like wanting to stroke caterpillar fuzz. His fingerprint is pebbled on her palm, the human grain writ large and tough like ray skin.

 _And our fundamental self is not something just inside the skin It's everything around us with which we connect_

**Hope for the Hopeless - _A Fine Frenzy_**

“But there’s a…a freedom in the idea that control is possible. That I could live within those bounds. Even after yesterday, it still seems like a fantasy, and…hard to believe in. But to stay here, I have to make the effort at giving it a shot.”

_Stitch in your knitted brow And you don't know how You're gonna get it out_

**Unholy Dirty and Beautiful - _David Usher_**

She just needs to ask for his help, but the barrier to that sits heavily in her chest, as awkward as the unsent messages on her phone.

_Confidence fell through the hole in your pocket The simple's illogical so it be logic I'm caught in the diaries with all your complaining The curious scribblings of one who has everything_

**Hang Me Out to Dry - _Cold War Kids_**

Banner had been focused, intent on the training mission Steve had given, “clear that hillside”, but the rawness of his emotional state had spilled over, and everyone’s ears were still ringing from the inchoate bellowing.

_Careless in our summer clothes splashing around In the muck and the mire Fell asleep with stains Cake deep in the knees What a pain_

**All Mine - _Portishead_**

Suddenly Bruce freezes, his visual field searing white around the edges, the pounding heartbeat coming out of nowhere.

_From that cloud, number nine Danger starts the sharp incline And such sad regrets Ohh as those starry skies As they swiftly fall_

**Underneath It All - _Scala_**

He continues, flat and hollow. “And I didn’t have control. Just for a second. But it was long enough.”

_Kill my brain Yet you still remain Crucified After all I've died After all I've tried You are still inside_

**Somewhere (From “West Side Story”) - _Tom Waits_**

Bruce covers his eyes and laughs up at the ceiling. How would he even describe a bed of pillows and dusty curtains and two battered people who embody the concept of keeping things close to the vest?

_Somewhere We'll find a new way of living We'll find a way of forgiving Somewhere..._

[Link to playlist at 8Tracks](http://8tracks.com/handypolymath/phd-in-heavy-artillery)


	3. Frog in a Blender: Slip Into Your Pockets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This thing with Banner was supposed to be about trust, connection, building rapport...so when did it become about care, about tenderness, about loving someone?
> 
> Third of four mixes for [Frog in a Blender](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4279791/chapters/9693444), by feldman and Thassalia.

[](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/rubberneck/media/frogmixslippocket.jpg.html)

### Slip Into Your Pockets

**Shut Eye - _Stealing Sheep_**

“He won’t risk staying here if something like Estonia is the best case scenario we can offer.” She points out, “And this time there is no SHIELD to run interference, keep people like Ross at bay.”

_You should've got a better bed_ _Better for your head_ _Better heads need shut eye_ _You should've got out of the red_ _In the red you're better off dead_ _Deader than the red dead sea_ _Promise it to me_ _Promise me the sea_

**Kettle’s On - _The Feeling_**

He shows up after the next class too, because she’s worked in his background, and it looks so normal, two people who work out in the morning. Of course Kate would have a well-off boyfriend who shows up with coffees, who checks up on her but also mutely apologizes for it, which is something Bruce can project clear across a city street with a stuttering self-deprecating shrug.

_I've got a little something on my mind_ _To keep it to myself isn't really very kind_ _Pouring out my heart isn't usually my style_ _But you gave me an inch so I'm gonna take a mile_

**One More Hour - _Sleater-Kinney_**

She wants him to know this is something she can do without him catching her, but that she’s choosing not to handle him like a mark. That she’s willing to blow apart any illusion that she’s trying to manipulate him.

_In one more hour_ _I will be gone_ _In one more hour_ _I'll leave this room_

**Kick It - _Peaches (featuring Iggy Pop)_**

There are no mixed messages here, no layered meanings of inquiry. This is a job and they both know it, but when he pulls out his phone to leave it behind, there’s a message: ‘I became a mercenary so I could choose who I killed.’

_I heard you like kinky shit_ _That just depends who I'm with_ _What is it S &M or some kind of toy? _ _Like you said search and destroy_

**Let’s Face the Music and Dance - _Bea Arthur_**

“Can’t sleep,” she says. It’s not a question. And it’s not really information. She sets the vodka on his bench along with two shot glasses.

_Soon we'll be without the moon, humming a different tune and then_ _There may be teardrops to shed_ _So while there's moonlight and music and love and romance_ _Let's face the music and dance_

**Hide and Seek - _Imogen Heap_**

When he brings up the schematics for Tony’s planned defense system, there’s a moment when he thinks it would be so much easier to ditch everything; walk out of the tower like he was going for a run and disappear back into someplace that needed anonymous, amateur medical assistance.

_Mmm, what you say?_ _Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did._ _Mmm, what you say?_ _Mm, that it's all for the best? Of course it is._

**Human - _The Pretenders_**

Her gaze shifts downward, looking into the collar of his shirt instead of his face. He can almost see the tenderness in his voice searing her like warmth on a frostbite, but that only spurs him on.

_I can be a little cold, but you can be so cruel I'm not made of brick, I'm not made of stone But I had you fooled enough To take me on_

**Throw Me on the Bed - _Machine Gun Fellatio_**

For a moment she just appreciates how roughed up and debauched he looks already, smears on his glasses and mouth lush, then she grabs his hand and presses it to the front of her hip. “I have the keys,” she says. “To the van.”

_I ain't no imitator I'm just in disguise Look me in the eye & tell me it ain't wrong Slap me in the face if I'm bein' too strong Or you can hold me down & kiss me, i'll play along Throw me on the bed & love me all night_

**Strong - _London Grammar_**

It’s the first time she’s touched him like that, skin to skin, to soothe, to promise. The situation is serious, but she wants more of this–and she thinks it may be their way out. She likes simple solutions to complicated puzzles.

_Excuse me for a while, turn a blind eye With a stare caught right in the middle Have you wondered for a while I have a feeling deep down You're caught in the middle_

**How Naked Are We Going to Get - _The Blow_**

“Are you referring to the super cockblocking effect? Because I thought that was mainly a Steve thing. I’d lay money on Banner being a close second to me in having normal human experience to fall back on.”

_Will you remember the route to your heart From her thighs Oh, what's in there once we get it off? It's risky here where we take it off Will I still recognize you once your face is off?_

**Drive You Home - _Garbage_**

It’d be nice to have a shirt, some shoes, his glasses maybe. But more than anything he just needs to make sure she keeps the gun on him, needs to keep her from hurting anyone else, most importantly herself.

_Walk on shells tonight Can't do right tonight And you can't say a word Cause I leap down your throat So uptight am I_

[Link to playlist on 8Tracks](http://8tracks.com/handypolymath/slip-into-your-pockets)


	4. Frog in a Blender: The Power of Outliers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce hadn't planned on doing anything with this attraction to Natasha; not kiss her, not care for her, not feel this painful ache, certainly he hadn't expected love, or tenderness, or to be the emotionally healthier half of their relationship.
> 
> Fourth of four mixes for [Frog in a Blender](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4279791/chapters/9693444), by feldman and Thassalia.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/rubberneck/media/frogmixpoweroutliers.jpg.html)

### Frog in a Blender: The Power of Outliers

**Waiting on a Friend - _The Rolling Stones_**

“He’s not my husband,” Natasha says, but she’s already crafting him an identity to go with Kate. Robbie, because if she ever has to introduce him he needs something close. For all that he can disappear into various corners of the world, he’s terrible with aliases.

_Ooh, making love and breaking hearts, it is a game for youth But I'm not waiting on a lady. I'm just waiting on a friend._

**Not a Virgin - _Poe_**

“I’m not a kid, I can get myself off. It’s whether or not it’s going to be a satisfying experience. Sometimes scraping off the layer of lust leaves something worse.” Grief, bitterness, self-recrimination, loathing, anger.

_Before you let another lie Go through those crooked little teeth I don't think you want to start that shit with me Much better yet Tell me something dangerous and true Oh yeah, that looks much sexier on you_

**The Consequences of Falling - _KD Lang_**

“It’s really nothing.” Her emphasis is just cruel enough that she can see hurt flicker for a second on his face, and then he shuts down. She’s so attuned to the wash of his expressions that the blankness feels like a slap.

_Are you dreaming What I'm dreaming I can't read your mind One step towards you Two steps back Feels like I'm crawling_

**Kiss Me Again - _Ben’s Brother_**

She can feel his control singing through him. She can tell by the set of his mouth that he’s not holding back from reluctance or hesitance, but holding on, watching to see just how honest she’s willing to be with him. With herself.

_It's been, it's been, it's been, it's been su su su such a long tome, long time, long lime since anybody touched me, touched me, touched me the way that you touch me_

**As Makeshift As We Are - _The Tragically Hip_**

Months of working together, of this odd and welcome and frustrating friendship has taught Bruce to keep working, match the tone, and listen for when things shift, which they’re capable of doing in lightning quick time when Stark is worried or agitated.

_You're a complex dune, I'm a cloud of octopus ink You're an elusive tune, I'm more ice sculpture than I think You're the neutral tribe and I got the wrong openness Here's where I slowly close my eyes and say, "I'm too drunk for this." Yea I'm too drunk for this_

**Do I Wanna Know - _Sam Smith_**

He lets go of her arm with a stroke down her forearm, unsure if she’s done pushing him into resistance, but choosing to stop pushing back. “How do I prove to you I’ll do anything you need me to do?”

_Have you no idea that you're in deep I dreamt about you nearly every night this week How many secrets can you keep? 'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow When I play it on repeat Until I fall asleep Spilling drinks on my settee_

**A Sunday Kind of Love - _Etta James_**

It’s a fantasy he’ll never share with her. It’s pedestrian, coming from the part of him that once upon a time had a life where that was feasible. But that’s not the life he’s living.

_I want a love that's on the square Can't seem to find somebody Someone to care And I'm on a lonely road that leads to no where I need a Sunday kind of love_

**Home - _Iggy Pop_**

For two people you could drop virtually anywhere on earth–in his case possibly from orbit–certain they’d make their way fine, it was hard for her to explain what this territoriality was about. It felt like it needed to be where they lived, a place they controlled, at least the first time.

_Home, boy; Home, boy; Everybody needs a home_

**You Shook Me All Night Long - _Arab Strap_**

She can’t stop laughing as he drops her onto the bed, pulls off her warm ups as she peels off her sweater

_Working double time On the seduction line She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine Wanted no applause Just another course Made a meal out of me and came back for more_

**It’s a Motherfucker - _Eels_**

He crosses his arms tight, wallowing a little in the sting across his back.

_It's a motherfucker Being here without you Thinking 'bout the good times Thinking 'bout the bad And I won't ever be the same_

**My Skin - _Natalie Merchant_**

He’s not sure which hypothesis affects him more: that she had such gestures of care, long neglected, in her repertoire, or that she’s been able to translate and reflect back the few moments between them where he was trying to soothe her.

_Do you remember the way That you touched me before All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored?_

Link to playlist of 8Tracks


	5. Америка: Nadsat  (America: Teenage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lozen Academy in Denton, TX is not just a boarding school for the gifted (or the troubled, depending on who you ask). Inside, there hides a Red Room. And in some of the students of that Red Room, there hides rebellion.
> 
> First of two Lozen mixes for the [Gammassassin series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/360416) by feldman and Thassalia

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/rubberneck/media/Amerikanadsat.jpg.html)

### Америка: Nadsat

**The Gentle Preservation of Children’s Minds - _Irving_**

Decades have passed since Natasha saw that face last. Blonde hair was now fully blanched silver, and the wrinkles at the creases of her mouth etched deeper into softer flesh. Regal and grandmotherly. Natasha hears the timbre of Madame’s voice in her head, her insistence on calm, clarity, precision...the resonance of pleasure when Natasha’s shot rang true.

_Remember when they used to make us wake up and spray all the blood from the flowers it was so hot, in the afternoon they told us that we couldn't stop until the garden bloomed_

**Bombshells & Pin-ups - _Veruca Salt_**

"What was done to me, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone else. I wish I hadn’t done the things I did. But I don’t... It made me what I am, it’s part of me, and I like what I can do."

_Self-induced, psychotic, synthetic, sing-a-holic This is not the best way to grow up There are better bombshells and pinups_

**Refuse/Resist - _Apocalyptica_**

She pulls off the gloves and begins unwinding the hand wraps, black to differentiate them from Tony's white ones. She smirks, “Meditation.”

_Silence means death Stand on your feet Inner fear Your worst enemy Refuse, Resist_

**Lucretia, My Reflection - _The Black Kites_**

Child super soldiers. He still can’t quite wrap his head around that when he looks at Natasha; or maybe he can, and it just makes too much sense to seem strange.

_I hear the roar of a big machine Two worlds and in between Love lost, fire at will Dum-dum bullets and shoot to kill, I hear Dive, bombers, and Empire down_

**Tightrope - _Janelle Monáe_**

Natasha packs the challenging look away like folding up an umbrella, looks at Steve and then glances to Bruce, and finally sizes up Tony as she walks past him toward the door. “Then let’s jam.”

_Some callin' me a sinner Some callin' me a winner I'm callin' you to dinner And you know exactly what I mean_

**Smells Like Teen Spirit - _Scala_**

The sound of Madame’s voice addressing the children starts an alternate track running in Natasha’s head, emphasizing the flashes of recognition amid the Texas humidity. Young women throwing themselves at each task before them with raw ambition, grabbing the opportunity of this training like a life preserver. The well-scrubbed faces of children bent to their studies but blank of any expression of curiosity or play.

_Load up on guns Bring your friends It's fun to lose and to pretend She's overboard, self assured Oh no I know, a dirty word_

**Disinformation - _Buffy Saint-Marie_**

The widow hashtag becomes a seine net hauling up the chthonic sexist id of the internet, while Anonymous starts targeting Stark personally as a guy looking to transplant Russian oligarchy in American soil.

_Coincidence and likely stories They dog your trail like a pack of lies They whine at night when the lights are out You toss and turn, you pitch and roll Disinformation, you spin it like a silkworm_

**Under My Thumb - _The Rolling Stones_**

When she comes back and Natasha offers herself up, Madame’s smile is the first genuine one Natasha thinks she’s ever seen.

_Under my thumb The squirmin' dog who's just had her day Under my thumb A girl who has just changed her ways_

**Ne Nehledej (Stop Searching) - _Iva Bittova_**

It’s trying to fish his name from the depth of memory that puts the first fissure in the conditioning, starts the cracks that will bring it down. One bullet. One name. All of that blood, maroon clashing with the rouge of the room. She’s not concerned with why, not then. Just needs to scratch the itch of the unknown.

_No, no one seek I do not know myself where where to hide_

**BBB - _How to Destroy Angels_**

A memory wipe is a storm to weather. Madame’s new method is subtler, softer, far more persistent, and Natasha can see how it could erode as devastatingly as water.

_No more Thought control You do What you're told_

**Furnace Room Lullaby - _Neko Case_**

It’s reassuring that the gloves are off, that she’s become one of the girls again in Madame’s eyes. Now Natasha will learn by doing.

_I twisted you over and under to take you The coals went so wild as they swallowed the rest I twisted you under and under to break you I just couldn't breathe with your throne on my chest_

**Lolita - _Suzanne Vega_**

“Thank you, Madame.” Ameena bows her head, but her eyes flick to Natasha’s feet, and the girl is undoubtedly studying her in her peripheral vision. “I suggest evac down the rat hole.”

_Hey girl Don't be a dog all your life Don't beg for Some little crumb of affection_

**The Job’s a Game - _Apollo Up_**

For the first time in perhaps decades, she has absolutely no idea what expression she is making, and this is the reason she turns back to Ameena, to try to read it on the young woman’s face.

_in every job that must be done there is an element of fun this job is the same we’re changing the name assigning the blame to someone better qualified_

**Wet Nightmare - _Lozen_**

Natasha leans toward her, not sure if she’s trying to breathe her way around nausea or sobbing, “We are weapons, Trinh. But so’s anyone who knows how something’s put together--engineers, doctors, they all know how to break something beyond repair.

_hey woman I just wanted to know what did it feel like when you sold your soul did it feel like dying or being reborn or did you feel the same as you did before_

**The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton - _The Mountain Goats_**

He sits up, lounge chair creaking, and looks at her. “Turning out bigger than the people and circumstances that made you? That’s such an amazing thing.”

_when you punish a person for dreaming his dream, don't expect him to thank or forgive you. the best ever death metal band out of Denton will in time both outpace and outlive you. hail Satan!_

[Link to playlist on 8Tracks](http://8tracks.com/handypolymath/nadsat)


	6. Америка: Horrorshow (America: Good)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I heard about Texas, it seemed like a lucky break, like when Draga and I were disposed of. Romanoff had come like a vengeful angel and you'd made the most of it.” Gigi studies the young women arrayed before her. “But seeing all of you shoulder to shoulder…it was one of you who took Madame down, wasn’t it?”
> 
> “Short answer, yes,” Georgia waves her hand, interrupting. “We’re all fucking Spartacus.”
> 
> Second of two Lozen mixes for the [Gammassassin series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/360416) by feldman and Thassalia.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/rubberneck/media/Amerikahorrorshow.jpg.html)

### Америка: Horrorshow

**This Girl is Taking Bets** \- _**Thea Gilmore**_

Natasha keeps talking, trying to tell them about the Foundation, the resources she’s pulled together so they can make their own choices, all those things she didn’t have when she fled Madame that she wants to give them here and now and fuck Clint and his hush little baby song how could something so hackneyed suddenly feel so true?

_This girl is the plunge pool she is cocaine and kodak Now she's out setting sail on the ocean of the soundtrack This girl is the shaking hand the rattling cup With a button and a note saying things are looking up_

**Like O, Like H** \- _**Tegan & Sara**_

**Georgia’s** name was given to her by Kudrin because her thinking scowl reminded the woman of a Chechan she used to know. Like one amusingly names a pet. Georgia does not remember her original name, but every new language she learns only emphasizes that nouns are arbitrary anyway.

_Then I was four plus a ten I was swinging fists Like nails in a board Pull your hands inside of you Six years until I'll be through I was four plus a ten I was swinging back_

**My Violent Heart** \- _**Nine Inch Nails**_

**Peyton** was one of those re-adjusted by Trinh in the basement, and it took a _lot_ of sessions to break through the cold-blooded efficiency that Kudrin had put into place. Peyton has full recall of that last breakthrough session, when every last thing that had been done to her snapped clear into place, but she will never tell Trinh.

_Into fire you can send us From the fire we return You can label us a consequence Of how much you have to learn_

**Science vs. Romance - Rilo Kiley**

**Catherine** convinced herself early on that she was simply living in a dystopian novel, and it will take another year or so living in the tower for her to really believe that any of this is real. It will be an ugly reckoning.

_Facts versus romance You go and call yourself the boss But we're not robots inside a grid Text versus romance You go and add it all you want Still we're not robots inside a grid Zeros and ones_

**Lead Me Into the Night** \- _**The Cardigans**_

“We were orphans. People took us in, but it’s not the same as family. And they weren’t always...kind.” **Draga** waves, dismissive and the smoke trails and drifts like it was holding the thought. “Radek wanted his mother to think of me like that, an orphan. A lost princess.” She takes another drag and her voice is quavery but it’s hard to tell if the emotion is rage or loss or a combination of both. “He wanted to be my family. What do you say to that?”

_I went too far, yes I came too close I drove away the one that I loved the most Now I ride the tide on a boat made of sand I’m sailing for another to guide me to land_

**Cheerleader** \- _**St. Vincent**_

“What am I doing?” Natasha asks, interrupting Clint, vodka cold in her hand, so icy that her fingers are numbing because embracing the cold seems to make more sense than fighting it and she’s shaking with it. “Playing house, and pretending to be normal. How could anything normal survive that?”

Clint puts his hand on her shoulder and shakes her, hard. “You aren’t normal,” he says, voice edged. “Neither am I. But we still get to be happy. Or at least, we deserve the chance to figure out how to be.”

_I know honest thieves I call family I've seen America With no clothes on_

**Human Being** \- _**Clare Bowditch**_

**Khadijah** is the second oldest survivor, and mentally the healthiest, but it was Khadijah who ‘authorized’ the illicit use of the theta-inducer to adjust some of the students who posed the greatest risk to the eventual coup. The ones who were loyal to Kudrin, who were too mercenary, who would sell them out. It was either that, or take them out. There were a couple that the group as a whole did decide to assassinate. They were able to salvage the rest, with a few late night trips to the basement.

_I was once a child in a house by the sea. I may be made of matter, but my heart's all hope and memory. I became a child in the heart of a ship. I fell in the water cause the water called me into it_

**Bury Our Friends** \- _**Sleater-Kinney**_

**Trinh** is the one who suggested using the basement equipment for their own ends, and she is the one who ran it, both for Kudrin and for their own sabotage sessions. Trinh is always going to be one step to the right of becoming a supervillain, her brain running so fast it outpaces everything else.

_Exhume our idols and bury our friends We're wild and weary but we won't give in We're sick with worry These nerve less days We live on dread in our own guilded age_

**Human Hands** \- _**Bowerbirds**_

**Ameena** was one of Kudrin’s first American Red Room students, and the oldest survivor. Her depth of perspective is unique, unmarred by any memory wipe, and she’s been playing possum for a long time, doing what she had to do to stay alive, consolidate power, temper the worst of the brutalities. She had always assumed she’d ride that ship down as she sunk it.

_On its hind legs, rears this storm, and the pines bend from its wily sword. Yet there is no war, no war, No quarrel here at all. And the deer shake in their hooves and shield their fawn. And when the rain comes, the rain comes. No judgement falls. Yet there is hate all around._

**Sugar Rum Cherry (Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy)** \- _**Duke Ellington & His Orchestra**_

**Mellie/Melody** was somehow the sole survivor (missing, presumed dead) after a tornado literally ripped her home and family apart. At sixteen she begins bardic training on Asgard, and between her very non-theatrical guardian Sif, and Loki-as-Odin intrigued by a Midgardian with a whiff of seithr, it’s reassuring that she’s practiced at riding tornados.

**I Believe in Miracles - The Ramones**

**Dominique** kicks around in a few bands until her late twenties, then takes the Trust tuition money to earn a PhD in stellar dynamics. Gifted in empathy and creating connections, she inherits the mantle of Sagan and DeGrasse Tyson as a popular science educator. 

_I used to be on an endless run. Believe in miracles 'cause I'm one. I have been blessed with the power to survive. After all these years I'm still alive. I believe in miracles. I believe in a better world for me and you._

**Almost Home** \- _**Moby**_

**Luz** is the one person on Earth capable of eliciting paternal feelings from Tony Stark, due to her pairing of engineering genius with Rhodey’s dead-eyed unimpressed stare.

_So (And the stars fell from the sky) Let it go (Falling down into the sea) Wake up, wake up, wake up (Still I don't know if it's right) We're almost home (If this world is right for me)_

**What How When Where (Why Who)** \- _**Ani DiFranco**_

**Gigi** runs her fingers through her hair. “All of my assets exploded in my face, and I am here until I am disposed of once more.” She laughs, “Draga would tell me, a gun in the face is easier to handle than a knife in the back. I thought, what does she know? She’s the one who got the strength, I got the strategy. I think we both just got screwed.”

_what what what what what now you're out in the open how how how how how do you think you can hide? when when when when when will you find some nice soft sand where where where where where you can bury your pride?_

**Strange** \- _**The Feeling**_

**Aisha** is a genius at mathematics and logical operations. Her relationship with JARVIS is what eventually tips him over into true AI, a deep interface with a very different mind from Tony, which helps him bridge the gap to being able to model wetware style thinking.

_Cause people gonna see you How they wanna see you People gonna rate you People gonna hate you People gonna shove you People gonna love you People gonna do whatever Makes them feel they own you better_

**Goodnight Demonslayer** \- _**Voltaire**_

**Marisol** has always been able to sense the Hulk within Bruce, from the moment they met in the basement. The Hulk sees in Marisol the kind of kid he wished Bruce had been–fearless and viciously protective–but the grass is always greener in the other cranium, because that same sick horrified fear is in there too, just severed, screaming into the void.

_I won't tell you, there's nothing ‘neath your bed I won't tell you, that it's all in your head This world of ours is not as it seems The monsters are real but not in your dreams Learn what you can from the beasts you defeat, you'll need it for some of the people you meet_

**Your Misfortune** \- _**Mike Doughty**_

**Sumi** planted the seeds of the coup using specific phrases, words, metaphors and images. She’s the one who coined ‘brainstrain’ in order to keep some kids from being culled for health reasons. She’s been waging a war of words for years, a true warrior poet, insidious like subliminal advertising, catchy like a jingle, as devastating as a fool making fun of a king.

_I can be the friend you want I can be your confidante I can be the right reminder at the right time Throwing out the lifeline_

[](http://8tracks.com/handypolymath/horrorshow>Link%20to%20playlist%20on%208Tracks</a></p>)


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